The Epic Cafe

despairjunko:

games that let you save anywhere instead of making you go to save points

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shickalenia:

dduane:

thesuitsofwoah:

that’s almost too cruelalmost

I had to do this once with Privateer II: The Darkening. It gained a bit when he said “I bet you didn’t play it through, I bet somebody just told you how…” and I was able to smile gently and say “God, possibly, since I wrote the game.” And plainly the Deity was with me that day, as I happened to be carrying docs from my UK agent (who’d done the deal) that showed not only that I was the writer, but the five-figure sum I had been paid. …It was a happy day for me. Not so much for him. I’d never had a referent for the word “slink” for a full grown male before. As in “slink away in utter dejection.” I smiled for at least three days without stopping. And am smiling now… I had completely forgotten about this.

Reblogging because “I beat the game” is fantastic, but “I wrote the damn thing” is even better.

shickalenia:

dduane:

thesuitsofwoah:

that’s almost too cruel
almost

I had to do this once with Privateer II: The Darkening. It gained a bit when he said “I bet you didn’t play it through, I bet somebody just told you how…” and I was able to smile gently and say “God, possibly, since I wrote the game.” And plainly the Deity was with me that day, as I happened to be carrying docs from my UK agent (who’d done the deal) that showed not only that I was the writer, but the five-figure sum I had been paid. …It was a happy day for me. Not so much for him. I’d never had a referent for the word “slink” for a full grown male before. As in “slink away in utter dejection.” I smiled for at least three days without stopping. And am smiling now… I had completely forgotten about this.

Reblogging because “I beat the game” is fantastic, but “I wrote the damn thing” is even better.

one-day-i-will-fall-asleep:

death-by-fangirling:

bronzedragon:

tomfelton-andthe-cumber-cocks:

strawberriesandjane:

funsizedfox:

“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”
“who?”
“…..them.”

Oh.

I AM CRYING

I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”
Now I get it
It’s a horror movie
People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god
First the bizarre happenings start:
someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes
another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches
people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning
people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects
a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes
then their god turns sadistic
pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings
doors vanish just as a house fire begins
an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on
a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside
and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician
the horror has begun



I would pay a lot to watch that movie

one-day-i-will-fall-asleep:

death-by-fangirling:

bronzedragon:

tomfelton-andthe-cumber-cocks:

strawberriesandjane:

funsizedfox:

“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”

“who?”

“…..them.”

Oh.

I AM CRYING

I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”

Now I get it

It’s a horror movie

People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god

First the bizarre happenings start:

someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes

another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches

people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning

people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects

a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes

then their god turns sadistic

pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings

doors vanish just as a house fire begins

an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on

a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside

and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician

the horror has begun

image

I would pay a lot to watch that movie

candycornfuse:

candycornfuse:

thirstiest:

why do people like fall

gravity

NO WAIT I MISUNDERSTOOD

askagaynerd:

kingcheddarxvii:

notviolet:

Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair

SHUT THE HELL U P

this man has gone too far

oh fucking hell I WANT HIM NOW 

krisarchasm:

mistressofpie:

A super girly and peppy blonde girl who wears bright pink dresses and skirts everyday is best friends with a quiet goth girl who of course sports all black clothing and big lace up boots. Someone jokes and yells to them “Hey look, a fairy and a vampire!” The blonde turns around and flashes a fanged grin and says “She’s human actually.”

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image

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This has been done before, I’m sure.

zeeewa:

uh oh. big uh oh.

zeeewa:

uh oh. big uh oh.